Dried Apricots

Warning: Dialogue in this blog has been somewhat modified for grammatical and all around it-just-sounds-better-that-way purposes. (And I am the italics = D)

In the past week I have consumed more hot chocolate than I have in the past year. Really it makes me sick, yet I crave it nonetheless.
I like being at the top of the food chain. Not even a Tyrannosaurus Rex could eat me. The other night while taking a quick jaunt outside with Whitney, I saw a squished... animal on the ground. It appeared to be a slug (which are often laid open on the cement) so I continued on my merry way. It was then my friend exclaimed, "That was a slug?! But it had legs!"
What?! Rushing back to the scene because I could not leave the smashed, legged creature's identity a mystery, I peered down onto the street, studying the gutless roadkill. After much deliberation it was decided. A frog!
Naturally feeling terrible, I searched for a resting grounds for the poor creature. Whitney protested.
"What are you doing?!"
Finding a place to put it. We can't just leave it in the street.
*rolls eyes and turns away*
Where should I put it?
"I don't know!"
After some more much needed deliberation the frog went back to its original death bed. The people whose garden I could have used were sitting on their porch and I could not very well walk around with a dead frog dangling from one leg, skin empty and head sagging. But it still should have at least been thrown in the nearest possible yard.
"You are putting it back? Then why did you... never mind."
It appeared our walk would continue until this slug the size of Texas caught my eye.
Woah! As I approached something changed. Were those pinchers? God in heaven! That is a crawdad!
Of course my friend standing over there was absolutely oblivious to the what actually lurked in front of us, so I ran over and picked it up. Spinning around with my new found friend, I held him proudly in the air.
It's a crawdad! In the middle of the street!
To make a long story short, evidence leads to the frogs murder by said crawdad, and while I had no punishment set aside, evidence also suggests Fatty (my kitty) raided the pot where Mr. Murderer resided and took responsibility of Judge, Jury, and Executioner all in one.
And in all of this, aside from my amazement that a crawdad was sitting in the middle of the street with no water or creek in the vicinity, I gained one jewel of thought: I am overjoyed I am at the top of the food chain. It is just one more reason to praise God every day. Really guys, in all seriousness... Praise the Lord.